I was telling my Hubstopher the other day that since I became a mommy to my baby girl, it seems that nothing else in life is as important!
It's weird since I'm not foreign to the concept of being someones mother, but things have just been different with my newest extension.
I've narrowed it down to the fact that its a little girl (I don't know, raising boys are somewhat different) and that I've been waiting for this little girl for more than 9 years! With such a huge gap between baby 1 and baby 2 (all of 12 years), I am now reminded how much this little life depends on me! For sustenance, for comfort, for love, for security!
And eventually for guidance, for support and for wisdom.
I am reminded about the importance of being Mom.
Having your own mommy smell and mommy way of saying and doing things... those familiar traits that your kids get hooked on, so that when there is a scraped knee or a broken heart or something that needs tending or fixing, Mom is the only one that can do it in that special "mom way".
Being Mom means so much more than just cooking, cleaning and doing the laundry.
I've had days where my son would be terribly unhappy with me, because he wasn't able to tell me the latest episode of his "what happened at school today" story. He would be like "but you're not listening to me!" So I would have to either be EXTREMELY good at feigning interest, while cooking, cleaning and uhhh doing the laundry :) Or I would have to put everything down and have a one on one with him.
Being Mom also means that you are the moral compass for your kids. I have found that our boys turn to us to see what is right and wrong. And they remind us of it every day! "But mommy you said that we should always share with each other" - When I'm devouring a chocolate all by myself. Hehehe.
OR "Mommy, I thought you said that we aren't allowed to put our feet on the couch" - When I've just sat down with a cup of coffee and I need to kick back and relax. They watch everything.
Everything.
Because of this, I try hard to be mindful of what I am showing because I know that they are watching. For example, I smiled nicely at the man who was cursing and hooting at me, while I was trying to get into a parking lot, and said "Sorry Uncle!" in my nicest voice, rather than display anger.
Moms, another biggie is submitting to your husband. The challenge with our boys is that they have 2 moms and 2 dads. So they respectively see Hubstopher and I as "mom and dad" only to a certain degree. Because of this, I had to (and still have to) consciously show my son that Hubby is the man in our house and who we submit to. This means honouring my husband, considering his advice, respecting his decisions and yes, giving him the biggest piece of meat and the most chicken than anyone else in the house. As Mom, we are called to be our husbands help meet, which could sound really Old Testament and nineteen-voetcheck, but the dynamic it brings to a household is amazing. It brings a security to children when they see their mom respecting their dad and their dad loving on their mom. Being Mom means that I would want that for them!
For my step son being Mom to him means that I recognize that his biological Mom is his mommy and the first lady in his life. Being Mom to him means that I let things happen naturally and I don't shove all my mommy-ness down his throat, but allow him to come as he is and take what he needs from me. But it also means that there are certain rules I will have in our home, as Mom, that all our children must adhere to, because they are ALL members of our family.
With that said, I have found that in OUR home, being Mom means that I am also kinda the law enforcer. Hubby is extremely soft hearted and really fun and funny. I am 'schedules, lists, eat your supper and go take a bath NOWWWW'. We've found that we have to compromise alot (in whispers sometimes), when one of us says its okay to play XBox right now and the other one says no you cant. I am also learning that being Mom means you need to loosen up sometimes... take a chill pill... don't wash the dishes immediately after supper... laugh when someone farts accidentally... choose a team when its a Daddy vs The Boys wrestling match on the (just neatened) couches... be okay with a healthy debate, even if its at a couple of decibels louder than what you'd like.
Most importantly, I am appreciating that being Mom means that no one can pray for my kids the way I can. No one knows them the way that I do and no one can travail before the Lord on their behalf like I can. Being Mom means that I am the one laying in bed at night, with their facing running through my mind and the excitement for their future in my spirit. I'm the one asking God to look after them, Holy Spirit to lead them and commanding angels to protect them. Being Mom means that I get to share Jesus with them in the little things I say and do and don't do. Being Mom means that I get front row seats to watch them grow in the Lord.
I think that being Mom is just about equal to being a superhero that has many disguises, and like, really cool awesome super powers that can change and adapt but also be really potent at times.
A ninja superhero.
Or something like that.
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Moms, another biggie is submitting to your husband. The challenge with our boys is that they have 2 moms and 2 dads. So they respectively see Hubstopher and I as "mom and dad" only to a certain degree. Because of this, I had to (and still have to) consciously show my son that Hubby is the man in our house and who we submit to. This means honouring my husband, considering his advice, respecting his decisions and yes, giving him the biggest piece of meat and the most chicken than anyone else in the house. As Mom, we are called to be our husbands help meet, which could sound really Old Testament and nineteen-voetcheck, but the dynamic it brings to a household is amazing. It brings a security to children when they see their mom respecting their dad and their dad loving on their mom. Being Mom means that I would want that for them!
With that said, I have found that in OUR home, being Mom means that I am also kinda the law enforcer. Hubby is extremely soft hearted and really fun and funny. I am 'schedules, lists, eat your supper and go take a bath NOWWWW'. We've found that we have to compromise alot (in whispers sometimes), when one of us says its okay to play XBox right now and the other one says no you cant. I am also learning that being Mom means you need to loosen up sometimes... take a chill pill... don't wash the dishes immediately after supper... laugh when someone farts accidentally... choose a team when its a Daddy vs The Boys wrestling match on the (just neatened) couches... be okay with a healthy debate, even if its at a couple of decibels louder than what you'd like.
Most importantly, I am appreciating that being Mom means that no one can pray for my kids the way I can. No one knows them the way that I do and no one can travail before the Lord on their behalf like I can. Being Mom means that I am the one laying in bed at night, with their facing running through my mind and the excitement for their future in my spirit. I'm the one asking God to look after them, Holy Spirit to lead them and commanding angels to protect them. Being Mom means that I get to share Jesus with them in the little things I say and do and don't do. Being Mom means that I get front row seats to watch them grow in the Lord.